


Thirteen to One

by tangle



Category: Ice Scream
Genre: F/M, haha yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-12 21:42:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2125647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangle/pseuds/tangle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Idate struggles through thirteen days and discovers that affection doesn’t always end in torn clothes and bloodied mouths.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thirteen to One

 

 

All it took was thirteen days.

 

* * *

  **I.**

 

The first time he knew something was wrong was when she fell asleep next to him and the silence made him feel at home. 

It was rare for her to be so close to him without putting up some sort of fight, be it physical or psychological, and to willingly be unconscious around him said more than words ever could. The sole fact that she _trusted_ him enough to sleep in the same bed as him when she refused to let anyone near her while she was in such a vulnerable state gave him no small amount of satisfaction and wasn't something he’d forget any time soon.

The silence felt as though one cough or audible shift in movement could break it like glass, as though the darkness could be twisted by sound to shed light on what he already knew to be true: that the situation he found himself in was abnormal and something he should be repulsed by. Yet he found himself drinking in the tranquility rather than rebuking it as he would usually; he was still but not stiff, attentive but not on guard, embracing the fact that the only prominent sound was that of her breathing, calm and slow and matching the rise and fall of her chest.

Their relationship was like calamity taken physical form, a violent and unstable clash of two beings with malicious tendencies aimed at one another for a lack of other ways to pacify their aggression. To find a peace in the dark with her was _strange_ , yet gave him an indescribable sense of ease he hadn’t felt with anyone in a long time. And especially not with her.

It was almost a struggle not to place an arm around her middle and bring her to his chest, and what stopped him wasn’t the finding the gesture sickening, but that if he touched her she’d probably stir from her sleep and leave him as soon as she awoke.

Eventually he resolved to turn his attention away from his current train of thought and find sleep just as the ursidae next to him had, pushing back the feeling of dread that told him that what he’d felt was the start of something that could only end badly.

 

* * *

  **II.**

 

The second time he realized something was wrong hadn’t been as subtle. 

It was only the day after he’d returned from his trip to the east waters that he found the need to visit her. It hadn’t been his desire to seek her out that shook him, but his reaction to finding her with a familiar pup in her lap and a rare grin on her face that left him feeling as though his breath had hitched because his heart had caught in his throat.

He had pressed back against a wall of ice, deciding to linger for a while longer and watch the two instead of making his presence known just yet. And upon doing so discovered that the aforementioned pup had recently caught her first meal on her own (that, or she was just tremendously proud of the dead fish she swung around for being… dead) and that Rocma really must have cared for her since she let the girl climb all over her like a freshly slaughtered carcass. 

Finally the pup seemed to settle down, smiling brightly at her caretaker before leaning in and pressing small kisses to her face, covering her cheeks, forehead and nose before Rocma decided to gently push her away with a sheathed paw. The girl only pouted at that and plopped right back down into her lap before taking the other's arms and bringing them to wrap around herself. 

And as Idate watched the scene play out before him he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe the pup had the right idea about how she had handled her guardian, and that maybe Rocma wouldn't try to kill him for doing similar.

A foreign feeling came over him at the thought of treating her with such care, but he was quick to push it aside. It left him rolling his shoulders as if to shake it off of him; that was the second time she had unknowingly made him feel... uneasy… and he swore it’d be the last.

Idate took a long drag of his cigarette, and for once, decided to let her be.

 

* * *

**III.**

 

The third time he realized something was wrong had been by far the worst and an experience that left him in the need of a couple drinks and a few packs of smokes.

Rarely did either of them ever get seriously injured by anyone other than each other, and the few times it did happen it came as a shock to both of them. Idate couldn’t recall the last time he’d seen her hurt because of someone that wasn’t him, so when he followed a trail of blood and found that it led straight to Rocma his initial reaction was to make sure it was really her. His second was to laugh. 

“This is unexpected. Can’t say it isn’t a nice surprise though.”

“Leave me alone,” she spat, but instantly regretted it. She winced and let out a low rumble of pain, reminding herself not to speak so suddenly.

“I don’t think I will,” Idate responded simply, casually ignoring her growing agony. “It’s not every day I get to see you like this, might as well make it last, don’t you think?” 

He hadn’t expected an answer and he didn’t receive one. With his usual cheery smile plastered on his face he stepped towards her, easily managing to turn her onto her back with a push of his foot.

He took a drag, looking her over in silence. Her dress was disheveled and soaked with blood; she had an array of wounds ranging from very mild to what looked potentially fatal if they continued to go untreated. Her face was also coated in red, and Idate had to wonder if the blood around her mouth was hers or belonged to someone she managed to take a bite out of. If he had to guess, he’d say a mixture of both. 

“Looks like you really were beaten down. I can’t imagine the pain you must be going through,” he told her in mock sympathy, expression falling to match his tone. It only lasted a second before he flashed a sharp set of teeth in a devious grin. “But maybe you can describe it to me.” 

“Shut up and let me die,” she rasped, glaring up in his general direction with hazy vision.

“We both know that’s not going to happen.”

“... It’s just a shame someone had fun with you before I got a chance to.” He frowned, sounding almost bitter.

“I’m sure... he’s having fun in hell,” she mumbled, tone unsteady. It was a struggle to speak, but he knew just what to say to keep her going, even if it pained her to.

“Oh, so you did manage to kill ‘em after all. Good. Saves me the trouble of tracking someone down and letting them know I don’t share my toys.” 

“Now just what was it?” he continued, voice lowering as he pressed a foot to her throat. “By the looks of those marks I’m going to guess a leopard seal. Am I wrong?”

She dug her claws into the snow beneath her, sneering up at his figure wordlessly and refusing to indulge him with a response this time. 

“Thought so. And here I figured you knew better than to swim in open water all by yourself. You’re losing your touch,” he mocked as she braced herself for him to press down. 

That wasn’t all she was losing, in addition to the blood loss her grip on consciousness was also steadily drifting in and out. She found herself wishing she’d pass out before he was able to get any gratification from toying with her. 

And as if some higher power had granted her wish, his voice began to fade and she was only able to make out a few short words, and then there was nothing.

As she went lax the first word that came to Idate’s mind was, _Unfortunate._

He gave a sigh and took one last hit of his cigarette before tossing it to the ground. It was probably best not to let her bleed out, but he wasn’t much concerned since he’d inflicted worse on her in the past. He had no doubt in his mind that she’d be able to last long enough for him to ensure that she didn’t die on him. Idate hadn’t been close to any witches personally, but he knew someone who’d been a familiar to one once upon a time and could probably heal most of her wounds.   

He kneeled to heave her up and position her against his back, shifting to let her arms fall over his shoulders. He stood and started towards where the ex-familiar resided.

 

It only took ten or so minutes to locate him, and when Idate did it required almost no effort to convince him to heal her. Idate wasn’t known for taking no for an answer, and anyone who wanted to remain whole knew to appease him as soon as he came looking for a favor. The only thanks he gave was a promise not to devour the ex-familiar or his kin any time soon.

Most of the damage had been healed, but the deeper wounds weren’t completely closed and would probably remain sore for a while. It was late, and though her… (Pack? Colony? Group? Parliament?) … friends were probably worried, he didn’t have a clue how he’d track them down. He’d found her in territory she typically never traveled through so he figured that they must have been on the move. That left him wondering just what to do with her.

Leaving her out on the ice wasn’t an option; she’d be found by another predator and everything would more or less repeat itself. His best bet was to take her home and wait until she woke up and found the strength to walk back to wherever the others had located themselves. 

Idate wasn’t very sedentary by nature, but he had a place on land to stay whenever he found the need to settle down for a while. It wasn’t very big and it still had the blood stains of the previous residents, but it was comfortable and served as a good place to store anything he needed to.

When he reached his “home” the first thing he did was set her down on the bed and kick off his shoes.

He could only faintly make out the scent of her blood since his sense of smell only existed outside of his original form, and was therefore significantly less powerful than his other senses. But he was able to distinguish it just the same, and he had to resist the urge to clean her up with his tongue. Had she had been awake, there was no doubt in his mind that he’d try, but since she was asleep he found no point in it. He wouldn’t be able to draw a reaction out of her and instead he’d just feel… weird. 

Once again she was unconscious in his bed, though this time against her own will.  

He had the strange impulse to lay down next to her, one which he quickly brushed aside and decided to pretend hadn’t happened. Instead he took a seat by her, only pausing briefly to take in the moment and look her over… just to ensure that she wasn’t still bleeding, of course. Speaking of, he’d have to take care of the blood on his sheets later. Like all ocean dwelling creatures, his clothes were enchanted with a spell that made any liquid easy to wash out (water being automatically repelled), so the blood on his clothes was simple enough to remove. His sheets, however, were an entirely different matter. Sure, he’d gotten her blood on his bed plenty of times before, but never in that quantity and leaving her there would probably result in blood soaking through to the mattress. _Great_. At least it was hers. Mostly.

Rocma appeared to be in far better shape than she had been, and he leaned back on his hands, able to rest without any concern. Idate found himself glancing back at her every so often to check to if there had been any change, and because she looked too appealing laying next to him to ignore. It was different from the times she laid underneath him or even next to him awake, and the exact reason why he couldn’t determine, or rather, didn’t want to. It wasn’t important, was what he told himself as he glanced over to her again.

There was that silence again. The one that brought him something akin to comfort and bliss. He shouldn’t have found such tranquility in having her lay next to him, shouldn’t have found it in _anything_ , really. But as he watched her in silent slumber, blood dried around her cheeks and mouth, he was reminded of the seal pup kissing her face with care, and when he realized he wouldn’t mind doing the same there was an instant twist in his chest along with a warm flutter that made him feel nauseous.

He needed sleep. Badly.

That had to be the reason he’d been acting so strange. He hadn’t slept in a _while_ and his lack of a good rest was most likely taking its toll on him. No, it definitely was.

Idate attempted to erase his mind completely of anything he’d been thinking prior, instead opting to fall onto his back and try to find sleep. Past experiences told him that she was a heavy sleeper, so he knew he’d be able to get away with moving almost as much as he wanted to without the need to worry about waking her up. He’d fall asleep without thinking about her for once, even if the small sounds of content she made in her sleep gave him a strange — no. He was going to _sleep_. He’d think about this later if there was still a need to. Which there wouldn’t be.

It didn’t take very long for him to fall asleep next to her.

 

Idate awoke to the sound of hushed curses and movement next to him, pulled from a nap that made him feel disembodied and uneasy. His vision slightly blurred and his body stiff, he sat up to see Rocma leaving his bed and looking as though she was trying to figure out exactly what had happened. 

She stood in the same spot for a moment, before starting to fix her clothes the best she could with an irritated mumble. He couldn’t tell if she’d figured out exactly what had occurred, or if she'd just decided to accept that she didn’t know and move on. Both were likely seeing as how she was quick to think, but also quick to accept what couldn’t be changed and move forward.

Something about this irked him, and he couldn’t tell if it was the fact she was so quick to leave, or the fact she hadn’t even looked at him since she awoke.

Two out of two sounded about right.

And as if on cue her eyes connected with his own briefly, but she stayed silent. She turned away without further acknowledgement and Idate had to bite back the urge to say anything caustic. She knew he detested being ignored, and saying anything would only give her satisfaction.

As he watched her straighten herself up he found himself wanting to tell her not to go.

But the words never left his mouth; they stayed on the tip of his tongue, leaving a bitter taste of lingering regret as she wordlessly headed towards the door. It was much easier to turn from the sight of her leaving and say nothing, to feign a lack of disinterest and wave her off dismissively. Because while it was easy to tell her that he missed her in a tone laced with mockery, sincerity didn’t come nearly as easy to him. 

So he reluctantly settled with letting her go and reached for his pack of smokes laying on the table to his right.

Idate reclined against the headboard of the bed, wincing as he leaned against a recent wound and corrected his position accordingly. Maybe if he took his mind off her for a while, it’d all just go away.

_Wouldn’t that be nice._

He had hoped that sleeping would have cleared his mind of what he’d been thinking earlier, but if anything it only made him realize what he wanted more clearly. When he closed his eyes she was practically all he could see, bloodied and frail against him, lips chapped and breath unsteady. He was again overcome with the feeling to lean down and press his lips to hers, to place his hand against the back of her neck and bring her to him. His eyes snapped open and he dragged his free hand down his face. _Not that. Anything but that_. This was revolting, and needed to stop.

Because for once it wasn’t harsh retorts, blood, or even the sound of her desperate cries of pain or pleasure he wanted to coax from her lips; it was those small noises of content she made that he wanted to hear and feel emitted against his mouth. 

It was a twisted and sickening adoration, one that could only lead to ruin. It was a feeling much like the warmth one feels as they place their feet into sand heated by the sun, and for a few moments they’re allowed to indulge in that warmth, before it inevitably burns them. He absolutely detested it but was drawn to it all the same. 

To others, affection was crucial in a relationship; it played an important role in keeping them together and letting the other know that they were important.

But to the two of them it was viewed with distaste; all it did was show weakness and leave them open to ridicule.

The closest they were allowed to affection was during those rare days where one of them couldn’t find the strength to walk after one of their more vicious encounters, and the other would help them find their way back home safely. But even then they’d be guided back with more than a fair share of sarcastic remarks and bitter taunts. Compassion didn’t come naturally to either of them, and especially not with each other. 

And they were completely content with that. Or they were _supposed_ to be.

Idate couldn’t count the number of times they’d slept together, but he also couldn’t count the number of times he’d seen her smile around him. Because unlike the former which happened at least a couple times a week, the latter never happened _at all_. And when he found that he wished it did, it made him want to roll over on his stomach and groan _**why**_ against his sheets.

He wasn’t naive; he was fully aware of his infatuation, aware that what he felt for her went beyond physical attraction and beyond just a need for a more permanent toy. He knew that the urge to claim her as his own hadn't come from his usual innate desire to conquer everything he touched, knew that he wanted her in full and wouldn't accept her any other way. And that it could only be _her_. 

So he decided that his sudden craving to touch his lips to hers couldn't have been anything more than another fantasy centered around possession and complete control of something he could never fully tame. Her mouth was one of the only parts of her he hadn't claimed as his own, the one part of her that was off limits. So it was only natural he wanted exactly that. ... _Right?_

Somehow he still wasn’t convinced, because when he thought of kissing her it wasn’t that familiar rush of desire that engulfed him, but a twist in his chest and an inexplicable warmth that left him humming to himself in content.

A part of him screamed _disgusting_ but another part sighed dreamily and said _I know._

And while he might have found pleasure in being physically hurt on his own terms, being mentally battered against his will was not so fun. Which meant that the only way to fix the predicament he found himself in was to take action rather than to sit around and sulk about it. But that was easier said than done and the only thing coming to mind was something that could potentially make it even worse. 

He needed to ask to kiss her.

As if things couldn’t get any more shameful.

Not only would doing so leave a bad taste in his mouth, but it was _embarrassing_. Stating that he wanted to be between her thighs was simple, telling her how and where he’d take her was easy. Telling her he wanted to kiss her was _none_ of the above. It wasn’t as though he could stop in the middle of grinding against her on the ice or release his hold on her throat while he was fucking her and go, “ _Oh, by the way…_ ” 

And there was also the matter of **pride**. It was humiliating to ask. It required him to put the wishes of someone else before his own, to bite back his pride and to actually request permission to able to do as he wished. 

And he _loathed_ that.

He should have wanted to wrap her scarf around his hand and forcefully pull her to him so that he could bruise and bloody her lips with his own mouth and teeth. He should have wanted to bite down on her tongue and make her choke on her own blood as it dripped from her mouth and into his. He should have wanted to fight for what could be his and entangle them both in another struggle for power and control.

But all of that sounded _wrong_ even though it sound have been ideal.

Instead what he wanted was to spend another violent night with her and to have her ride out her orgasm on top of him while he kissed every inch of her face. He wanted to curl his fingers in her hair in order to arch back her neck and bite down on her skin, only to cover the marks he made with apologetic kisses and murmured words of affection. 

And as he realized this the only thing coming to mind was _What did I do to deserve this?_

He instantly answered himself with _A lot._

 

* * *

  **IV.**

 

It wasn’t often he saw her for two consecutive days; usually the next time he’d see would be at least a couple of days after the last. Not that Idate minded too much. Absence made the heart grow fonder, or in his case, the infatuation more violent.

While he would typically embrace being able to catch her alone again, finding her only a day after his uncomfortable realization was, well, uncomfortable. 

He was never one to pass up something potentially enjoyable though, so he approached her just the same as always.

It didn’t take long for her to notice him drawing near and she planted herself where she stood, preparing for the impending assault.

“Didn’t expect to see you so soon,” he told her, bringing his ever-present cigarette to his lips.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you tracked me down. This isn’t your usual territory,” Rocma countered as she watched him warily for any sudden movement.

“If I could do that you’d never have me off your back." 

“Who knows, you may have been scheming with that nasty sea leopard. Those things are almost as sickening to look at as your kind is, but at least they don’t have your terrible odor clinging to them,” she said, lip curling. 

“Cruel and cold-hearted as usual. But that’s fine,” he responded, expression darkening, “I know just how to warm you up.” 

"Don't make me sick." She unsheathed her claws, and readied herself to attack.

“ _Theeree_ we go. I expect you to give me a good fight as usual, Shirokuma-chan,” he practically purred, holding out his arms as if inviting an attack. 

She took him up on his offer and charged, arm raised across her chest, prepared to either swipe at him or block any of his own attacks.

Thrilled, he decided to meet her head on, rushing forward to take or counter any onslaught.

She lashed at his torso, but he was quick to block her attack with his forearm. Unfazed, she bounced back, only to charge again and move as though she was going repeat the same attack, before abruptly side-stepping and switching hands to aim again.

She succeeded in tearing into his arm and he let out a sharp sound of pain, but managed to avoid what could have been an even worse injury, if only barely.

Idate took notice that she wasn’t as swift as she usually was, and that her advances seemed almost forced, as though it was difficult for her to move.

He didn’t have much time to mull it over though since she was coming towards him again, and he quickly decided to take a more offensive approach than he had been, turning and aiming a blow to her side. She dodged, using her height to her advantage to duck under his arm and knock it away from her as she reached to grab him by the front to yank him down. 

He moved back in time to evade her, taking a hold of her wrist to pull her to him. She used her other hand to try to claw at his neck so he would release her, but he only huffed and dropped his cigarette, able to use his available hand to catch her other wrist as she swung her hand towards him. His arms shook as he managed to slowly move her own arms that were pressing towards him away. She struggled against his hold before eventually tearing from his grip and clumsily moving backwards. 

Once again she charged, though this time almost aimlessly.

He dodged, grabbing the back of her scarf as it whirled past him in order to pull her back and knock her off balance. She lost her footing and Idate took the opportunity to seize her by the front of her dress with both hands and lift her off the ground.

“You know, a good way to tell just how good you’re doing is by how long it takes me to drop my cig. And let’s just say I’m not impressed this time.”

She snarled at that, aiming a hard kick to his abdomen which resulted in him promptly dropping her. He recoiled, arm going around his stomach as he hunched in pain. Rocma saw an opening and darted forward, head lowered and aiming to headbutt so he could fall backwards. 

Idate caught sight of her coming before she was able to succeed and stepped out of the way _again_ , managing to get a grip on her arm before she passed him and swung her back to face away from him.

She was moving _extremely_ sluggishly, and Idate had a good idea why… 

She stumbled once more and Idate’s suspicions were confirmed. 

He brushed it aside for now, moving quickly to elbow her in the back of her neck and knock her down while he had the chance.

Rocma managed to land on her hands and knees, breathing unsteady and hard. 

Her gaze snapped up as Idate came to loom over her, a pleased look on his face. 

“I win.”

“I… want a rematch,” was what came from her mouth almost instantly, and she brought herself back to her feet with some difficulty.

“I accept. I’ll give you one at my place,” he replied, hands finding their way into his pockets as if it was second nature to him. 

“But for now it _is_ my victory…” 

Rocma gave him a look of disgust, but stayed silent, knowing better than to respond with her usual biting remark after his win.

“On your knees.”

For a moment she looked at him in silent spite before grudgingly lowering herself. They'd long since had an arrangement pertaining to the results of their fights and neither of them had any desire to break it, even when they found themselves on the losing side of the battle. 

Idate stepped to her, looking just as proud of himself as he did after every victory against her. He took her face into his hands and ran his thumb across her cheek.

“You wanted a rematch didn’t you? It’d be a shame if you were too tired to put up a decent fight. Not that you did just now, anyway. But let’s not embarrass you any further.”

And as if to add insult to injury he gripped her by the front again and lifted her to toss her over his shoulder without much effort.  

"Less embarrassing, right?" 

She scowled, resisting the urge to stab into him with her claws. Instead she said nothing, reluctantly allowing him to carry her off.

 

As soon as he reached his destination, he set her down.

“Don’t break anything this time,” he told her once inside, closing the door behind them.

Her only response was to dart forward, claws at the ready. He gave a bored sigh and easily stepped out of the way of her attack. “Nice try. But maybe you should try aiming for me next time. Here, I’ll show you how.”

She ignored him and recklessly attacked again. 

He caught her by the arm and brought it down forcefully before taking a hold of her shoulder and twisting her back to slam her against the nearest wall. She cried out in pain and he moved quickly to take ahold of her available hand and pin it next to her.

She struggled against him but soon found that it was pointless. With her left arm being twisted behind her back and the other held down against the wall next to her head, there wasn’t much of a chance to escape, especially with how exhausted she was. However, she refused to fully accept her defeat; the fight had been anything but fair since it hadn’t started with both parties completely fit.

“You’ve been moving really slow. You’re not still hurt from that seal are you?” he asked darkly against her ear, only receiving stubborn silence in response.

Idate continued on, taking her silence as a form of reluctant submission — the _best_ kind.

He released her right arm, instead moving to take her by the throat and tilt her head up to look at him.   

“It wouldn’t be a fair fight if you were still in pain.” He squeezed gently, releasing the arm he had twisted against her back to take the tip of his glove in his teeth and pull it off. He tossed it onto the tabletop to the side with his free hand and moved to put his arm around her middle and press her closer to him. “Then again, I don’t usually play fair.” 

He could feel her pulse against his palm and he reveled in it. 

It was difficult for Rocma to let her arms go limp at her side, but she had to if she wanted to abide by their rules. The only thing she wasn’t allowed to do was go directly against him; silently refusing to indulge him, however, was a loophole and what she ended up doing every time she lost one of their fights. But if anything, her refusal to completely give in fueled him and gave him an even stronger desire to get a reaction out of her.

His arm dropped slowly from her middle and he gathered the bottom of her dress in his hand, tugging it up to her waist and squeezing her throat tighter with the other.

She swallowed hard against his palm, and he gave a soft laugh. Idate pressed one leg between her own two, parting them before using his ungloved hand to slip between her thighs.

He spent a while touching her, using his other hand to grasp her by the throat while he grinded against her back. Only when she was struggling to suppress her gasps and pressing back against him did he release her, instead taking her by the wrist and hurriedly pulling her to his bed. He lifted her easily, dropping her onto her back rushing to undo his pants and letting them fall to his ankles.

Breathing unsteady, she covered her flushed face with her arm but Idate was quick to tear it away, intent on listening to her every noise and watching her closely.

Usually all he wanted to do was make her cry out desperately and see her at a complete loss of control, but as he took her beneath him he found that there was only one thing that could make it better. He stopped inside of her suddenly, and Rocma growled.

This was far from the right time to ask; it needed to be handled more carefully if he wanted her to agree.

But Idate was far from careful and blurted out a breathy, “Can I kiss you?”

She stilled instantly and a wave of nausea hit him. He had a terrible feeling that she’d push him away and sneer at him in disgust for even expressing that he wanted to kiss her. That, or she’d outright laugh at him. He really couldn't tell which would be worse, but decided quickly on the latter if only to convince himself that the least likely was the most undesirable outcome. That way he'd be able to tell himself that it could have been worse. 

An eternity composed of what was really only a few seconds passed before Rocma finally gave her response. At first Idate couldn’t distinguish what she’d said due to his nerves scrambling up most of his common sense and the panting coming from them both, but after a moment the word “ _No_ ” clicked and Idate swore he never felt more afflicted because of one word with just as many syllables. There was an awkward pause and Idate opened his mouth to give his falsely cheerful response, but was cut short.

“... Ask me another time.” 

And just like that any ounce of dread was replaced by a hopeful flutter in his chest, one which was short lived and nulled by the pain of sharpened claws digging into his back and teeth at his shoulder.

Idate hissed through his teeth and grabbed her by the hair to rip her from him, leaving a mess of blood rolling from his shoulder and onto the sheets. Her armed hooked around the back of his neck as he rolled his hips into her again, eliciting another cry from her as he pressed his forehead against her own and entangled his fingers in her hair.

Her grip around his waist tightened as she reached her peak and he had to stop himself from muffling her cry with his mouth.

 

* * *

**V.**

 

From then on asking to kiss her became incorporated into each of his victories. Her response was always a delayed, "Ask me another time".

He had grown to loathe the feeling; each time he uttered the question he could feel a bit of himself sink further into her hold, and it felt as though she was forcing his hand on the trigger of the gun that was shooting down his dignity.

A part of him was convinced that was her goal, that she was fully aware of how she was slowly tearing away at him and that she was set on putting him in his place below her. And the one thing he couldn't stomach was the thought of being below anyone, even her. (Metaphorically speaking, anyway…)

What’s worse was whenever she pressed her lips to a part of him he found himself hoping they’d linger, that she wouldn’t sink her teeth into him and instead move her mouth against him softly. But each time he’d end up disappointed. 

So the next time they got together he was set on asking only one more time. He found the perfect opportunity when she was propped up against a wall with her legs around his waist.

He expected nothing more than a no, and nothing less than a dismissive “ask me another time”. But that wasn’t what he received. What he received was a longer pause than usual, and her low response of, “Not on the mouth.”

His heart skipped a beat — or ten — and he did his best to keep his composure, but inevitably failed. She made no show of her antipathy but he didn’t doubt it was there. It didn’t matter though, what mattered was she had, to a certain extent, agreed and it was a big step up from a flat “no”.

He collected himself enough to lean in and bring his lips to her neck, and for a second his initial impulse was to bite down. But rather than go with his first instinct he only pressed them softly to her skin. Idate could feel her tense within his hold, but he continued, trailing gently pressed kisses up Rocma’s neck and towards her jaw. His heart thumped loudly against his chest and he did his best to ignore it. 

She was visibly just as nervous as he was, though for a different reason entirely. She expected him snap at any moment, to tear into her flesh and to laugh through teeth soaked with her blood as he told her that it was all just a big joke.

Idate was unpredictable on his best days, but unstable on his worst. 

She only hoped that she didn’t have the misfortune of agreeing to this on the wrong day. Then again there was never really a _right_ day with him.

But it never happened, and his goal appeared to be just what he’d said it was.

Eventually he moved back, looking all too proud of himself. 

“Are you done?”

“Your legs are around my waist and I’m not even inside you yet, so I’d say no.”

“That’s _not_ what I meant.”

 

* * *

  **VI.**

 

Hunting was always difficult at night, but Rocma wasn't above giving into the temptation of a midnight snack. Though if she was going to get something to eat, Mafuyu would wake up and want something as well. And if Mafuyu asked for something there was a pretty decent chance that her loud whispering would wake Peraco and _she'd_ want something. 

Which was exactly what had happened and how Rocma ended up with a bucket of fish outside in the dead of night.

She couldn’t see well in the dark, but her keen sense of smell was more than enough to help guide her home. Unfortunately, on the way back she caught the easily distinguishable scent of a certain aggravating cetacean.

She stopped, turning to the left and squinting through the dark at the faint glow of a cigarette. 

“Hungry?”

She dropped the bucket in her paws and readied herself, glare already set.

“Don’t worry, I’m not here to fight this time,” he told her, holding up his hands as if to show that he meant no harm.

Rocma turned her attention from him to gather the bucket into her hands again. Despite being all around nefarious, Idate almost never lied. It wasn’t that he thought it was immoral or any other laughable excuse, but he had the tendency to be blunt and saw no point in lying. It went without saying that he preferred a far more confrontational approach, and being slick had never been very appealing to him. So she didn’t doubt that he was telling the truth, and felt no need to keep her guard up around him.

“Ask,” she stated gruffly.

His expression faltered from his typical cheerful one. Making him ask even though she knew the question… He was starting to think he was right about her purposely stringing him along for her own enjoyment. But he was too far gone to back down now, and against his better judgement, gave her the satisfaction of asking.

“May I kiss you?”

Her response was, as usual, delayed. 

“A little.”

“A little?” he repeated, arching a brow and taking a drag of his cigarette.

“ _A little._ ”

Idate gave her a look that said _Why do you always have to be so difficult?_ and only received a deepening glare in return.

Of course. 

Awkwardly, he approached her, but was stopped short by an outstretched hand.

“You’re lucky I even said yes. Don’t test me by bringing _that_ any closer,” she sneered, giving a quick nod towards the cigarette between his fingers. 

Idate forced a smile before holding his hand out to his right and making a show of dropping it to the ground dramatically. “Satisfied?”

He had to bite back the urge to point out that she never seemed to mind it too much when she was laying on her back, but decided now probably wasn’t the best time for jokes. So rather than push his luck he started towards her again, only stopping when he was close enough to lift her from the ground. And he did just that. Rocma stayed quiet, only dropping the bucket in her hand and offering a silent glare as he brought her to eye level.

Now he just had to figure out exactly what _a little_ meant.

For someone with her strength she wasn’t at all heavy, so getting tired of supporting her weight was out of the question. Her getting tired of _him_ was the primary concern.

_A little_ , he repeated to himself. _That's helpful…_

He had a feeling the phrase could either make or break the situation; if he went passed what Rocma deemed as “a little” he was going to be in a lot of trouble, but if he didn’t go far enough he missed out on getting the most out of the situation. It went without saying that if he aimed for Rocma's definition of 'a little' and he successfully hit, then they'd both be satisfied (or at least _he_ would be and she just wouldn’t try to kill him) and maybe she'd allow him to get away with more the next time he asked. 

He decided to start safely, ignoring the aggravated look she was giving him for taking his time and moving in to kiss at the corner of her jaw, just above her neck.

She made no move to push him away so he continued, tracing her jawline with his lips and humming against her skin.

"Don't do that."

He nipped at her.

"I _meant_ the humming!"

"I know," he snickered, kissing where he had bitten.

She let out a forced sigh of annoyance, and Idate easily recognized that it hadn't been genuine.

So far he hadn't seemed to cross her boundary, or even reach it for that matter, so he decided to kiss closer to her mouth. He pressed his lips to each of her cheeks, then began to gradually move down towards her mouth each time he kissed her.

When she tensed Idate realized he had reached dangerously close to _a little_ so he resolved to only kiss her twice more, once at each corner of her lips.

He moved back from her afterwards, his grip on her loosening so that she could move from his arms and down to the floor.

“I have better things to be doing,” she told him curtly when her feet touched the floor. She took the bucket of fish into her paws again and headed off briskly.

And as she left Idate couldn’t help but notice how unnecessarily hurried she’d been.

 

* * *

**VII.**

 

A little less than a week passed before he saw her again. What gave her away was a familiar yelp and startled cry of, “ _W-Wait!_ ”

Idate recognized that as the voice of the wolf in Rocma’s group, and promptly started in the direction of it.

Sure enough, he found her among a few other arctic animals.

“… Look, all I’m saying is maybe you should take more chances. And if I’m with you, you’ll have more luck that way! Especially if we do things in sevens,” one of the girls said brightly. 

“P-Peraco,” the wolf stammered.

“I know, I know. Last time diiidn’t go so great. But hey, it can’t _always_ go bad right?" 

“No, Peraco…” His eyes darted behind her to the incoming threat and back, and she spun to look behind herself, instantly spotting the approaching orca. 

Her eyes widened and she swallowed, stepping back just as Rocma stepped forward.

“Leave,” she demanded lowly, bringing an unsheathed paw up.

“Yeah. Leave,” Shirogane chimed in, a safe distance behind her, tail between his legs. 

“Not _him_ ,” she snapped, turning to bare her teeth. “All of you. Leave.”

“Wait, Rocma..!” Peraco started but was cut short by an arm guiding her back. 

“You heard her… We gotta go,” Shirogane told her quickly, though looked hesitant to leave as well.

“You should hurry. Unless you want to be sliced open and hung by your intestines. If he doesn’t like the _taste_ of them that is.”

Shirogane cringed and Peraco made a face. The seal pup who had been hiding in the snow next to Peraco’s feet whimpered. 

“Alright, let’s go…” Peraco lifted Mafuyu into her arms, and exchanged glances with Shirogane before heading off, looking behind herself as a feeling of guilt tugged at her. 

“I feel bad… Leaving her like this every time. She always comes back hurt, and…”

“I know. But it’s better her coming back hurt than us coming back dead.”

“You mean not coming back at all right…”

Shirogane gave her a look and Peraco laughed sheepishly.

“Sorry.” 

 

“It’s always nice to see you brush off your friends for me. No, really. It’s a huge ego boost.” Idate smirked and raised his cigarette to his lips.

“Don’t flatter yourself. I wouldn’t be doing this if it didn’t protect them from something as vile as you.” She scrunched up her nose to emphasize her disgust. 

“You always say the most charming things.”

Rocma glowered at that. It had gotten to the point where she wasn’t even sure if he was being sarcastic anymore. She really wouldn’t have put it past him to get some sick pleasure out of being put down.

“Let’s just get this over with.” 

Rocma made a dash at him, and Idate nonchalantly began to walk forwards, intending to meet her head on as always.

She dived under his arm just as she reached him, catching him off guard enough to aim a hard kick to the back of his shin. He barely managed to keep from falling to one knee, instead staggering a bit and turning with a more serious expression.

That… was faster than he had anticipated. His mouth twisted into a malicious smirk and his expression darkened. _Good_.

 

The fight was over before it even really started.

By the end Rocma had no pain anywhere or any marks inflicted onto her, whereas Idate was sore in a variety of places and had plenty of marks to show.

He wiped blood from his cheek and smiled.

Even though he was clearly at a disadvantage she still hadn’t _officially_ won, and therefore he’d stand his ground until she brought him down.   

Rocma directed a kick to his side, one which he barely tried to deflect; he knew when he had lost and saw no point in wasting his energy when he needed it for what came after.

She missed, but quickly corrected her mistake with a successful kick to his stomach.

He hunched over and she immediately put her hands around the back of his neck, yanking him down further and kneeing him in the gut. She released him while he was almost down, before raising her heel to force it down into his back. He fell with a groan of pain and she took a step back, sneering down at him, arms crossed over her chest.

She watched as he pressed from the snow to sit back, regaining his breath in heavy pants. He managed to choke out something that sounded akin to a laugh between his hard breathing. “Your… Your win.”

Idate stood shortly and wiped the snow from his clothes. “Whew. That... was quicker than usual. I’m impressed." 

“I’m not looking for your approval,” she growled, turning to leave. He watched her for a moment as she started in the direction of his place before following after. 

Her win, her rules.

 

Depending on the mood he’d catch her in, her victory would either result in simple control of how they’d have sex, demanding he do _everything_ to her that she told him to, or just getting off to his pain without letting him get anything out of it himself.

And though Idate usually favored the former, he didn’t have nearly enough shame to deny loving all of them.

Fortunately for him, Rocma wasn’t in one of her overly hostile or aggressive moods and he ended up with his preferred choice.

She settled with climbing onto his lap, dress draped over his waist and hands gripping his shoulders as she rode him with that all too familiar look of lustful determination, doing her best to suppress any noise but inevitably failing. 

He told himself that he couldn’t think of kissing her now, that he had to let her have her way just this once. But the sounds she made were slowly tearing down his self-control; each whimper and gasp that passed her lips only fueled his desire to pull her down and push his tongue into his mouth in order to try to taste her every sound and feel them against him. 

A feeling of shame mixed in with heated pleasure as realized he was actually considering asking, but he gave in just the same, ignoring the tug in his chest that told him he’d regret it. 

"Not so fast.” He grabbed her by the hips, stopping her abruptly. 

"Wh-What?" she managed out breathlessly, looking at him in bewilderment. Her victory meant her control, so what was he...

“If you’re... going to go back on your word then…” 

"Not exactly." 

"Just _say_ it," she snapped, claws digging into his back.

"Kiss me."

He never thought he'd ever deny her because he wanted something as simple as a kiss. Wanted her begging, sure. But a _kiss_. That was almost embarrassing. Almost, if he had anymore shame at spare at the moment.

She sneered in response, taking one of his hands and roughly pressing her lips to his palm before forcing it to his mouth. " _There_. Now _move_ ," she demanded.

Idate huffed, sliding down to get just enough leverage to be able to grab her by the waist and thrust inside of her. Her head fell to his shoulder as he brought her to her climax, and as she rode out her orgasm he followed soon after.

Her arms fell to her sides as she rested pressed against him, head on his shoulder as he felt the rhythmic thumping of her heart against him.

After a while their breathing began to even out and Rocma tilted her head to mutter in his ear, “If you want me to let you play out your sick fantasy the least you can do is wash your mouth and get rid of that _smell_.”

“Yeah. Sure,” was all he managed out, still basking in euphoria.

Only when she shifted on top of him and moved to stand did it register that _oh yeah_ , she needed to leave. Idate once again tried to suppress the feeling of disappointment, and once again failed.

 

* * *

**  
VIII.**

 

“Thought I’d catch you here.”

Rocma spun on her heels, looking at the cetacean warily for a moment, before noticing that he didn’t have his usual cigarette between his fingers.

And though his empty hands told her just what he had in mind, she asked in her usual harsh tone anyway.

“What do you want?”

“Permission,” he responded simply, watching her reaction carefully. Her body language always gave her away, told him what her words refused him.

“To?”

He frowned at that. The answer to her question was more than obvious, and he was almost certain she really had been stringing him along this whole time.

“Kiss you.”

“Kiss me.”

“Yes, kiss you,” he repeated, growing more annoyed.

“No, I’m _telling_ you to kiss me.”

Oh.

_**Oh.**_

As soon as it dawned on him he absolutely beamed, for once welcoming that flutter and warmth in his chest. He could have embraced it were it tangible.

"Don't look so happy," she said only half-heartedly, refusing to meet his gaze.

"You aren't _embarrassed_ , are you?" he teased, mood not faltering in the slightest.

"This is exactly why I'm telling you to do this. So you can't talk," she grumbled, narrowing her eyes at him briefly before glancing away again. “Just get it over with.”

"Alright, alright.” He held up his hands as if in surrender, rolling his eyes playfully. He stepped forward and moved to lift her from the ground but she corrected him immediately.

"Don't pick me up this time. I'm not a child."

It took him a moment to realize that while lifting her any other time might have been fine, this time was not for the fact that she'd be losing any control she had completely if he did. Usually when he held her she had reign over him in some way, some sort of limitation that was set that ensured he was kept in line. But giving him full permission to kiss her without anything more being said also meant that she’d given him permission to do almost whatever he pleased.

So she was set on keeping to the ground where she could at least put her foot down literally, if not figuratively.

Idate really had to give himself a pat on the back for knowing her as well as he did; he doubted anyone else had devoted such careful consideration to her every move.

Deciding to abide by her wishes, he leaned down but found that she was still a good distance away, and that if he leaned any more he’d just be uncomfortable. Yet she made no move to help bring herself to his height.

"...You aren't making this easy for me."

Then again, when did she ever.

"You're the one who wanted to kiss me," she reminded him coldly, the edge in her tone present as always.

_But you're the one who told me to_ , was what he bit back.

"You don't want me to pick you up like a kid but you're fine with me practically kneeling to see you like one.” He gave her an amused look, shifting to straighten up then rest his weight on his right.

"I'm not _that_ short," she bristled, arms coming up to cross over her chest. “Actually, I'm not short at all. You're just disgustingly tall."

"... Even if that were true," he started as though the insult had rolled off his shoulders. But his dropped expression and lowered tone told her the comment had affected him more than he led on, "You're gonna have to help me out here."

There was a moment of hesitation, before she growled out a harsh “ _fine_ ".

As she brought herself to the tips of her toes, Idate realized just why she'd been so reluctant to do so in the first place. She stumbled almost immediately, grabbing onto his sleeves for support against her poor balance, and Idate did everything in his power not to laugh.

It was cute in a way, but Idate had no doubt in his mind that if ever expressed that his tongue would be ripped from his throat without any remorse. Instead he took her gently by the shoulders to help steady her as he leaned down to meet her halfway. He paused close to her face, and as her eyes closed his heart sped up more than it ever had with her before. He felt her grip tighten as he moved closer, able to feel her breath on his lips and hear that uncertain hitch as his mouth hovered next to her own. He let his own eyes fall shut before finally closing the distance between them in full and touching his lips softly to hers.

It felt like both an infinite amount of time and a few seconds had passed before he felt her move away.

“... There,” she said in a tone softer than her usual.

Idate didn’t bother to try to read her expression because he was too overjoyed to analyze anything in the slightest. And though she'd been unresponsive, the sole fact that she even allowed it was enough to make him absolutely elated.

“I came here to hunt.”

Idate looked at her in confusion, having been caught off guard in his moment of bliss.

Strangely enough his inability to catch on quickly didn’t seem to annoy her as it usually did.

“As in not to get an orca all over me,” she elaborated, leaving out any harsh remarks.

Even then it took Idate a moment to register exactly what she meant, but when he did he stepped back and swung his hand as if to signify that she was free to go.

She turned heel, only pausing to narrow her eyes up at him and huff. “Wipe that grin off your face. It makes me sick.”

And then she left.

Of course. She needed to get in at least one jab at him, didn’t she? She was just as prideful and malicious as he was and he wouldn’t have had it any other way.

He didn’t even bother to see her off, too wrapped up in his own thoughts and set on memorizing just how her lips felt against his own. He was sure that wouldn’t be the last time she agreed, but he wanted to indulge in the very first. What’s more was she didn’t agree, she flat out **told** him to kiss her. And while the reason for that may have been because she refused to just passively agree to anything, letting him do anything to her at all required Rocma to actually want it as well. She never did anything without gaining something for herself. Never with him, anyway.

If there was one word to describe how he felt it would be _giddy_. It was repulsive when he thought about it, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He'd compare himself to a lovestruck teenager but the only one he knew who could fit the criteria in any way was Nagi and even she demonstrated more self-control than he was right now. He even had to convince himself that shifting forms and doing literal flips out of the ocean to match the ones happening in chest was a bad idea. He ended up deciding that rather than make a fool out of himself, he'd release his burst of happiness out on a new plaything. Violence solved almost everything, and this was absolutely no exception. He had to feel a little sorry for whoever he wound up getting a hold of. Except not really.

Humming happily, he started searching for the perfect toy.

 

* * *

  **IX.**

 

When he saw her again he had to fight back the urge to gather her in his arms and press kisses to every inch of her face.

He was able to control himself, but only barely.

“So…” he began, not at all trying to conceal his excitement.

“Go ahead,” she huffed, looking off as if disinterested.

Idate managed to look even more delighted and immediately approached her. She took a hold of the front of his shirt as she raised to the tips of her toes again, though made a point to grumble and make it known she was reluctant.

Kissing her was just as fulfilling as it had been before. But rather than stop at just her lips, he kissed her cheeks, brushed her hair aside to kiss her forehead, then kissed her on the mouth once more just because he could.

When he straightened up again she let go of his shirt, doing her best to ignore the look of adoration he was giving her and instead decided to look anywhere that wasn’t at him.

“Just so you know, I hate repetition,” she told him sternly, as soon as her feet were flat on the ground. There was a moment’s pause before she added, "... So you don't have to ask anymore.”

And those seven words were what made kissing her become almost a normal part of their encounters.

When he pinned her beneath him and held her wrists over her head the first thing he did was capture her lips with his own, kissing her soft and slow. Though the second thing he did was push her head under water and make her choke.

When she bound his legs and wrists and forced him to his knees he’d ask to be allowed just one kiss before she stepped on his back and forced his face to the ground.

When she had her legs around his neck he'd kiss up her thighs before giving her what she wanted and fucking her with his fingers and tongue.

It became almost natural to him, to the point where Rocma had to stop him from kissing her goodbye when they were in the company of others.

No one was aware of their relationship in her circle of friends and the last thing she wanted was anyone to catch them being _affectionate_ with one another. She’d much rather them walk in while his face was between her thighs than _that_.

 

* * *

 

**X.**

 

 

 

Sometimes Rocma swore that his obsession with kissing her had started with him wondering what he could do to make their relationship even more unpredictable and confusing. It was Idate after all, and he loved nothing more than dragging those he was close to down into insanity with him.

It was only when she herself became accustomed to it that it became a real problem.

One instance, that she refused to acknowledge the existence of, was when Idate decided he wanted to linger around her without a fight like he occasionally did.

He had the habit of trailing behind her like an overly dependent child, and she had the habit of getting fed up with that quickly if he followed too close. And on that particular day he was definitely what qualified as “too close”.

She spun quickly, switching directions abruptly and ‘accidentally’ knocking him back with her elbow. The cetacean frowned, having had dropped the pack of cigarettes he was opening at the time. “A warning would’ve been nice.”

“So would _distance_.”  

She turned to face him with a sharp look to emphasize her point.

He only clicked his tongue, leaning down to pick up what he’d dropped.

Unaware that she had done more than just knock him back, she tilted her head up expectantly to meet him. He stopped to give her a look of confusion before realization dawned on him and it turned into a look of complete and utter amusement.

For a moment she looked lost, and then her eyes dropped to the floor and she noticed the pack of cigarettes he’d been aiming to retrieve. It was only then she realized that he hadn’t been leaning down to kiss her. She flushed and quickly corrected her mistake, looking away and bringing the fur of her dress up over her mouth.

“ _ **Don’t**_. Say. Anything.”

He made a zipping gesture over his lips, but his expression was more than enough to make her bury herself further within the confinements of her scarf.

 

* * *

**XI.**

 

“... Anytime I want,” Idate hummed, looking into the sky blissfully. “Any. Time.” 

“Keep it to yourself,” Rock grumbled, reeling in another catch before dropping it into a bucket next to the literal rock that he was sitting on and that Idate was laying against.  

“Pretty unlike her to give me full permission to get away with something whenever I want,” Idate continued, ignoring his friend’s comment. “You’d almost think she was warming up to me.”

“Or she’s givin’ you what you want so you stop bothering her,” he rebutted, growing more aggravated.

“ _Or_...” Idate began again, taking one of the fish from the bucket next to him and receiving an intense glare from Rock, which he ignored as well. “...she’s starting to like me. Or at least not hate me.”

“Don’t get your hopes up.”

“You always keep me grounded,” Idate remarked, only partially sarcastic.

A few minutes went by before Rock peered over the stone to the fish that ‘mysteriously’ appeared to have lowered in number.

“... I’m headin’ back. You know, before you _eat_ everything.”

“I’ll stay.”

“Good,” Rock responded, sounding as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. He hopped down from the rock and Idate opened his mouth to comment on how he lived up to his species’ name, but was stopped by a heated glare and a, “Don’t. Don’t say anything. You do every fuckin’ time.”

Idate shut his mouth and gave a falsely innocent smile. “What?” 

The penguin narrowed his eyes at him, before averting his gaze to collect his stuff. He left without saying anything more. Goodbyes weren't exactly shared between the two, and were deemed as awkward and unnecessary. They usually saw each other on a regular basis, excluding the times Idate went on one of his longer strolls through the seas, and goodbyes were a waste of breath when you'd be seeing someone not even twenty-four hours later.

Idate shifted in his spot.

He was itching for a good smoke, but also planned to look for Rocma later so he had to hold back.

But... he was resisting what he wanted for _what?_ She was someone who constantly put him down and left him wondering just where he stood with her. She was someone who treated him worse than how he treated others. Someone who time and time again told him she wished he’d die. Who had a glare that could send almost anyone running and a notoriety that rivaled his own. Who only _he_ was able to challenge and live, and vice versa. Who had a voice that only sounded better when insults rolled off her tongue to strike at whoever had the misfortune of upsetting her, as though putting someone in their place came as second nature to her. Who had teeth sharp enough to break skin without much effort but lips soft enough to make you want to feel them against your mouth for an eternity.

Someone who he was completely enthralled with and only regretted it when he didn’t think about how much he wanted her. Someone he’d kill for without a second thought. And someone who was coming in his direction.

Caught off guard, he quickly had to determine whether he'd told her where he’d be and if he had arranged to meet her there. He… hadn’t. And there was no reason why he _would_ , he realized after his brief moment of panic.

“I could smell you from a mile away,” she told him, looking off to the side.

Idate raised a brow in curiosity. That didn’t explain why she’d sought him out.

“...Is anyone around?”

“No.”

It fell quiet again.

For once he couldn’t get a read on her.

“When was the last time you smoked?”

… What was this, an interrogation?

He watched her for a moment, noticing she hadn’t looked at him since she arrived.

“Not for a while actually. I was going to visit you today.”

She lapsed into another silence, still refusing to meet his eye.

Idate continued to watch her, wondering if things could get any more… confusing. She didn’t appear to be looking for a fight, so… _Oh. Wait._

Tentatively, she started towards him. He placed his hand on the rock behind him to hoist himself up but was stopped by a “sit down”.

Alright so apparently this _could_ get more confusing.

“You aren’t going to climb on top of me _here_ are you?” He smirked, reclining against the stone. She paused only for a second but it was long enough for Idate to notice the change and he looked at her in genuine surprise, before laughing.

“If I knew you were into _that_ , things might be more entertaining.”

“It’s not what you think,” she said quickly. After a second, she came towards him again, stepping over his legs before taking his shoulders to steady herself as she straddled him. He placed his hands on her waist and looked up at her with a raised brow.

“Not really another place my mind can go when you’re sitting on me like this. But hey, I’m not against it, so you don’t have to be shy,” he teased.

“You talk too much,” Rocma told him sharply.

And then she leaned in to kiss him.

The first thing that came to his mind was… Absolutely nothing.

For once, he was the unresponsive one. His mind went almost completely blank, save for the jumbled thoughts that told him he must have been dreaming and that she was probably just some sort of illusion and that maybe Rock had somehow spiked one of the fish in some sort of low revenge.

His lack of response must have discouraged her because she moved away shortly, and only then did he come to his senses. He gently put his hand behind her neck as she moved away from him, and she let him guide her back to kiss him again. Her fingers curled into his shirt as he softly moved his lips against hers, catching her bottom lip between his own before biting down, careful not to break skin.

She pulled from him at that, face flushed. It was the first time he’d seen her blush because of something so simple, and he would have poked fun at her if not for the fact he felt just as warm in his cheeks.

He could feel his heart pound against his chest, and he swallowed hard.

She dipped down to kiss him again and he was quick to meet her halfway once more. Her lips parted almost immediately and he swore his heart would have burst from his chest if he hadn’t already given it to her.  

Her breath was hot and she tasted like bliss; he couldn’t remember the last time something didn’t need to die in order to make him feel so alive.

His perception of time distorted, and he didn’t know how long had passed before they were pulling from each other, but he did know that it hadn’t been long enough.

He leaned back against the rock, basking in the sight of her breathless and flustered. It was different from any time before; the fact he’d managed to make her like that by just kissing her was both gratifying and almost unreal.

His hand slipped from her waist to run down her hips, trailing down further to reach the hem of her dress.

She looked as though she was going to protest, but as Idate moved forward to tug down her scarf and kiss at her neck anything she was about to say died in her throat. She managed to move his hand, and he placed it back on her hip then took a hold of her dress. He continued to kiss her neck, giving her no warning as he grinded up against her.

A startled gasp escaped her and he gave a low laugh.

With a growl she took him by the hair and yanked him away from her, giving a pointed glare and a chastising “ _Don’t”_ before letting him go.

He attached his lips to her neck again, giving small bites hard enough to almost break skin, only to cover them with delicate kisses.

“...You can wait,” she told him half-heartedly, barely managing to hold back any noise.

“Can’t,” he murmured against her neck, moving one hand from her hips to her lower back and the other around her shoulders, in order to tip her back against the floor.

He kissed at her cheeks and jaw and Rocma gave a huffy sigh and a mutter of, “Just this once”.

“Mmhm. Once,” Idate repeated. Rocma wasn’t convinced, and Idate wasn’t very serious.

Because they both knew he could never do anything just _once_.

 

“So. Walking home?” 

“No, I’m crawling,” Rocma responded sarcastically, flattening her dress and patting the snow from it.

“Hilarious.” Idate finished buttoning up his pants, before rolling his shoulders. “Feels kind of off not being in pain after that. You didn’t even _try_ to hurt me.”

“I can correct that,” she replied, baring her teeth and unsheathing her claws on one paw.

Idate gave a small laugh. “Point taken.”

“... But really. Walking. Maybe I can take you home,” he offered, attempting to sound nonchalant about it.

Rocma stared at him incredulously. “Do you know how that’s going to look if someone sees us? We’re both a mess.”

“You’re always a mess when you go back. How’s this any different?”

She was quiet for a moment, contemplating whether or not to let him go with her up to a certain point. Finally, she started walking and gestured for him to follow.

He did just that and with a spring in his step.

 

After a while of walking she came to a sudden halt and glanced over to him.

“You’re going to see sticks standing up like someone planted them there. When you do, stop.”   

A territorial marking. The land animals of Iceberg Isle, as he’d come to figure out long ago, had very intricate clans and mapped out territories, save for the few who wandered in groups or by themselves. But even then those groups had to abide by certain rules and usually had their own temporary piece of land.

“I’ll remember that,” he responded, following after her as she continued on.

“Try not to.”

Right. So he wouldn’t find out where she and her friends were most of the time.

Well, he’d have to keep that in mind even more now.

“And if anyone sees you with me…”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to hold your hand. Unless you want me to.” He smirked, nudging her lightly in the arm as he caught up to her.

Rocma rolled her eyes, and for once it wasn’t out of exasperation. She actually looked _amused_.

“Whoa, did you almost smile? Is that what I just saw? You oughta do that more often,” he told her, looking pleased.

They stopped walking as they both caught sight of the landmark, and she turned to him.

“Don’t get used to it,” Rocma huffed before tugging him down by the collar and kissing him on the cheek.

_“Oooooh!!”_

The two of them jumped, turning to see a familiar seal pup with a paw over her mouth and looking as though she had just discovered the secret to an infinite amount of fish.

Mafuyu looked up at the two with wide eyes and Rocma sputtered.

“...Oh, hey,” Idate said casually as Rocma struggled to find words. He kneeled down to the kid’s height as though everything was perfectly fine and held out his hand, “I don’t think we’ve properly met before.”

She squeaked and stepped back, covering her face with both paws.

“I see your guardian taught you well,” he chuckled, hand lowering.

“We have to go,” Rocma finally managed out. She took one of Mafuyu’s paws in her own as she passed hastily, and Mafuyu followed along. The pup looked over her shoulder as they left, at the orca getting to his feet and watching them leave.

“Mafuyu,” Rocma started seriously, and the pup looked to her instead, head tilted in childlike curiosity.

“Don’t repeat what you saw today. To _anyone_.”

The girl nodded quickly. “A-huh. No telling anyone.”

She glanced over her shoulder again but he was gone.

 

Rocma had figured that after telling the pup she wasn’t allowed to speak a word of what she’d seen to anyone, she would never mention it again.

Unfortunately, Rocma wasn’t included in that “anyone” and Mafuyu had a number of questions. That she asked throughout the week. Sometimes one after the other.

“Is he nice? Does he play? Can _I_ play with him?”

“No,” Rocma answered all at once. “He’s not nice. You don’t want to associate with that kind of guy.”

Mafuyu pouted, “But _you_ do.”

“That… has nothing to do with you.”

The girl sighed and rested her head on her paws. Then quickly darted up again. “So does that mean—”

“No.”

“But—!”

“ _No._ ”

Mafuyu looked down in defeat, head hanging dramatically low. Rocma could only take so much of her sulking and gave a frustrated sigh.

“ _One_ time. That’s it.”

Mafuyu looked up again and blinked, waiting for further explanation.

“You can come _once_. But that’s it. And you have to promise two things,” she told her roughly. Mafuyu nodded quickly, unfazed by the look Rocma was giving her, instead looking all around thrilled.

“ _ **One**_ ,” Rocma boomed, making Mafuyu jump, her expression changing to a fearfully attentive one. “You’ll never ask any more questions about him.”

The pup nodded quickly and placed a paw over her mouth as if to show “no questions”.

“And _two_ , no one finds out about _this_ either.”

Mafuyu added the other paw on top of her first, that one signifying that she wouldn’t tell a soul.

“Then tomorrow, I’ll take you with me...” Rocma trailed off, sounding as though she was going to regret this.

 

* * *

**XII.**

 

Idate’s initial reaction to seeing Rocma hand in hand with a seal pup, coming towards him, was to give her a quizzical look and say, “You aren’t offering her as sacrifice, are you?”

Rocma didn’t look amused.

“She wants to know that you aren’t as tough as you think you are. And that you’re really just a pathetic bully with no backbone." 

“She said all that did she,” he asked flatly, knowing better than to buy into it.

“It was implied.”

She released the girl’s hand, only to have her squeak out a frightened “No!” and try to pull Rocma’s hand in hers again. When her guardian held her hand out of reach Mafuyu immediately rushed to hide behind her.

“ _You_ wanted to meet him.”

“Oh, did she?” Idate kneeled down and Mafuyu hid her face into the material of Rocma’s dress. “I don’t think I caught your name.”

She mumbled something indistinct in response.

“Didn’t catch that.”

“M-Mafuyu…” she murmured, peaking out from behind Rocma.

“That’s a pretty name. It’s nice to meet you, Mafuyu,” he started gently. “... But I can’t really talk to you from behind your caretaker, now can I?”

The pup nodded slowly in agreement, stepping out from behind her hiding spot.

“So... are you guys really friends?” she asked shyly, swinging back and forth on her heels, hands behind her back.

“Sort of,” he answered, looking up to Rocma with a subtle smirk.

Rocma stayed silent, only giving a pointed look to the cigarette between his fingers.

Idate took the hint and concealed his dismay as he took one last drag. He turned away to exhale smoke before putting it out in the snow.

He sat back and Mafuyu followed suit, settling down next to Rocma’s feet.

“Does that mean you were only playing pretend and acting mean?”

“You can definitely say I was playing.” _Just not pretend..._

She grinned. “I like playing, too! It’s good to know you just liked playing with my friends! I thought you were trying to eat us.”

“They _are_ very fun to play with,” Idate told her. “Gotta love playing tag with them. I’m always ‘it’.”

Rocma rolled her eyes, growing tired of standing and deciding to take a seat on a nearby log. She’d watch the two closely just in case Idate tried anything stupid.

Mafuyu didn’t turn even as Rocma left, far too engaged in the conversation.

“Ohhh! So that's why they're always running from you!” She nodded, eyes wide in fascination. “What do you really like to eat?”

“Fish,” he answered, withholding the whole truth. _And more..._

“We should get some fish together!!”

“Don’t think your guardian would be too happy with that. You swim off the west coast, right?”

“Oh… no. We just make holes in the ice. I’m not allowed to swim in open water,” she explained, looking somewhat embarrassed.

“But you’re a seal, aren’t you? That’s kind of... wrong. You should be allowed to swim freely, out in the ocean where you could—”

“Get _killed_ ,” Rocma interjected. “By your kind, no less.”

“You can’t really live without a little risk.”

“Maybe _you_ can’t. But she can. And she will. Until I teach her the proper way to dissect a whale.”

“Ouch.”

Idate turned back to Mafuyu, nodding towards Rocma.

“She always like that?”

“Like what?” She blinked, looking confused.

“That... just answered my question…” Idate ended in a mumble, feeling kind of sorry for the girl. He couldn’t imagine what he’d be like if he’d been that restricted as a child.

“Do you play other games? Like hide ‘n seek?” she asked hopefully, her cheerful smile returning.

“Sure, I can play with you.”

She beamed at that. “Okay then, you hold your nose and count down from twenty!”

“... My nose?”

“Yeah, so you can’t find me really easy. And then I hold my nose when you hide.” She tilted her head at him, looking as though she was explaining something that should have been glaringly obvious.

“Ah. That won’t be a problem then. I can’t smell that well.”

“What!? Why? Are you hurt?” she asked, looking shocked and concerned.

“Don't worry, I’m fine,” Idate reassured her, looking amused. “Killer whales can’t smell by nature, not in our original form anyway. ‘Can smell in this form, just not too well.”

“Ohh! I get it!” She nodded in newfound understanding. “ ‘Kay, so I’ll hide and you just don’t look and count!”

“Sounds good,” Idate agreed, trying his best not to sound too reluctant. “Don’t make too much noise though. My ears make up for what my nose lacks, got it?”

“Got it!” she replied brightly.

Idate raised to his feet and put one hand over his eyes. “Twenty… Nineteen…” 

Mafuyu quickly clambered to stand as well, looking in all directions in a panic before darting off. She remembered what the orca had said to her about his hearing and corrected her mistake, sloowllly taking small steps in another direction, towards a nearby rock.

“Ten… Nine...”

She carefully lowered herself behind it, then realized it was too small to hide her completely. Quickly, she switched to her original form, burrowing into the snow to hide herself more inconspicuously.

“One… Zero.”

Idate dropped his hand to his side and turned, deciding it best to humor her and avoid heading in the direction she originally ran off in.

However, the way Idate settled on going was the direction she switched to and the one he hadn’t heard her sneaking off in. He found her quicker than he meant to; the telling sign that she was close were the noises of shifting snow nearby.

He slowly approached her from behind, stopping next to her tail.

“Now, I wonder… where... she… _Is!_ ”

He darted down on “is”, swooping the small seal into his arms. She giggled wildly, changing forms again and pressing her paws against his shoulder.

“Hehehe, you got me!”

“That was really easy. You need to learn how to hide yourself better, hm?” He brought her to his right to hold her in one arm. “You don’t want predators to find you, maybe I should teach you how to hide better by telling you how _I_ know where prey is.”

“... But you eat fish.”

“... Right.”

“So now it’s your turn to hide!” Mafuyu brightened up, changing the subject quickly. What she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her, she’d learned.

“ _Actually_ ,” Rocma started from her seat away from them, “it’s getting late and I let you stay for longer than I meant to.”

“Awww, okaay,” Mafuyu said in disappointment, her smile fading.

Idate carefully set her down, but stayed kneeling before her.

“Wait, Shachi-san,” she started, looking both ways as though someone could overhear. She leaned in close and whispered, “Since Rocma can kiss you on the cheek does that mean I can, too?”

“Sure, if you want to get bitten,” he whispered back, flashing sharp teeth.

“Idate,” Rocma growled and Mafuyu jumped.

“Guess that’s a no. A _really_ big no since she used my name,” Idate smiled sheepishly. He definitely didn’t hate when she called him by his name, in fact, he would have preferred if she did more. … Just not to scold him.

Mafuyu motioned for him to turn his head so that she could whisper in his ear and Rocma’s acute hearing couldn’t pick up what she said next. When he did she leaned in further and whispered, “maybe next time.”

“Next time,” Idate repeated with a nod.

Mafuyu smiled with a radiant purity that made Idate feel as though he had just stuffed his mouth full of sugar.

“Bye!” She waved as she skipped off in Rocma’s direction. Rocma stood from her seat as she approached and took Mafuyu’s paw in her own, glancing over in Idate’s direction briefly before looking back down to the pup. “... Go on ahead. I haven’t smelled anyone rotten for a while, so it should be safe.”

“Oh, mmkay!” Mafuyu glanced back at Idate and waved, before skipping off again in the direction of her home.

Once she was a good distance away, Idate leisurely came forward, hands in pockets.

“I didn’t know you liked children,” Rocma muttered, watching Mafuyu carefully even though she couldn’t sense any nearby predators.

“I don’t,” he said simply, pulling a pack of smokes and a lighter from his pocket. “But I can make an exception for you.”

 

* * *

 

**XIII.**

 

It was the closing of a door that woke him.

As were all orcas, Idate was attuned to his surroundings even as he slept. So when the door to his house shut, where he stayed  _alone_ , it was obvious that someone was treading through dangerous water and into the jaws of a self-proclaimed monster.

He groggily moved out of bed before pulling on some clothes, in absolutely no hurry. If someone thought he was an easy target out in the middle of nowhere then they were going to be in for a pleasant surprise. Pleasant for him, anyway. It wasn’t every night a midnight snack came to _him_.

But as he moved around the corner, he caught sight of the last person he’d expect to see willingly walk to his room.

Rocma jumped as he turned the corner even though she’d heard him approaching, looking like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t have.

Idate said nothing, absolutely baffled by his discovery.

“I can tell you don’t get visitors often. Not that I’m surprised," she whispered as though someone would hear them.

“You came all this way just to insult me and I can't tell if I pity you, or if I’m flattered,” he responded in a tone to match her own.

“That’s not what I’m here for," she corrected him, manner huffy.

He leaned against the wall to rest on his side, yawning. “Then?”

She was silent for a moment.

"I'm going to sleep with you."

"This late? Without a fight?"

"I don't mean that kind of sleep with you. I mean... literal… sleep with you…” Rocma ended in a murmur, arms coming up over her chest as she looked off in embarrassment.

It took Idate a few seconds to remember what literally sleeping with someone meant, and when he did he gave her a look of disbelief.

“Don’t ask why,” she said quickly, and if he didn’t know any better, he’d say she sounded _nervous_. But since he was only half-awake, he decided it couldn’t have been anything more than his imagination.

He pressed off from the wall wordlessly, only motioning for her to follow.

Rocma did just that, and was lead into a room she knew too well. She went around to the side of the bed opposite of him, and Idate began to take off the clothes he had previously thrown on. He watched her out of the corner of his eye as she attempted to muffle a yawn with her arm.

She undressed to reveal her sleepwear underneath, and he couldn’t help but note with sleepy amusement that the white pajama dress she wore made her look even more innocuous than her normal wear.

Rocma didn’t seem to notice him looking at her, or just didn’t care, and she raised the covers on his bed to slip underneath them. He climbed in after her and shifted onto his side so that he could face her. She moved to him, propping up on her elbow to dip down and kiss him softly for a moment, giving a small sigh of content against his lips before settling onto her side as well.

And as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her against him in the dark he was overcome with a familiar sense of tranquility.

The quiet was blissful; it gave him a sense of security and made him feel as though everything fit, that everything was how it was meant to be.

And he welcomed it.

The first time he knew something was right was when she fell asleep next to him and the silence made him feel at home.

 

**I.**

 

All it took was one day.

 

 


End file.
